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Then Is Gone. This Is Now.

Her words lumped in my gut like a blob of warm resentment.

I was late. By six-minutes.

I would be charged a full half an hour extra— her colleague had been unable to go to lunch until my arrival.

The blob grew thick within me.

Tears wobbled but did not fall.

Breath came, deeper than usual because I asked it to. Because I didn’t know what else to do with the blob she gave me.

She was right. These were the rules, however ridiculous.

The old me would have met this trigger with a puddle of me, and kept it brewing until tomorrow.

The new me saw the pointlessness of keeping the left-overs and asked my pain to disappear.

Perhaps she was only trying to save me money for next time.

And here was my brain, instantly turning her words into a beacon of shame.

Whatever the case, the moment has passed.

Then is gone.

This is now.

person holding hands
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2 replies on “Then Is Gone. This Is Now.”

So true, Kat. I used to get myself into such a tizz, and I’d replay the moment over and over (and I still do sometimes, I suppose, depending on what time of the month it is 😂🙄). But yesterday I got home and just said to myself: I can stop this now. I don’t want to have to be upset about this tomorrow. It was such a relief to let it go, and now I can honestly say that today when I see that lady again there’ll be absolutely no ripples from yesterday. The mind is a pretty amazing thing, isn’t it, Kat. ☺️xxx

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