Facing the Truth

I stopped

and I said to myself:

I am in pain.

I did not try to hide it.

Or justify its reasons.

I did not try to pretend

the hurting wasn’t there,

or as true as it truly was to me.

For a moment I looked around

for the escape I’d always looked for.

The rug to hide all the knowing beneath.

The rug of make believe: the chance

to believe that the pain did not exist.

But it did.

It lived in my heart.

And though I wanted it to leave…

I let it be.

And I knew it was okay

not to shine it away

with my sun.