Have you noticed how life leaves clues along the way? At the time the clues are dropped, we often miss them (or at least, I do) but looking back, it’s so clear why this thing, that thing, or the other thing had to happen in order for us to arrive right here.
In this very moment.
As this very version of us.
For me, when my spirit came knocking again after a little while of being…well, I have no idea where it was, to be honest— it was muted within my human reality/body/life, lets put it that way. Sort of half asleep.
Whatever, wherever, however. When it returned, it brought with it the entire story of me, including a trail of very obvious signposts pointing to here, now, me.
The journey to accepting (loving all the bits and pieces of) myself, others, and all of life has been an absolutely fascinating one.
Epiphany after epiphany. Resistance. Rest. Depression.
Energy shift. Growth. Slight acceptance of self and others.
Divorce (oh bugger).
Depression. Depression. Depression.
More epiphanies. Resistance. Rest. Enjoy life. Greater love and acceptance of my humans and myself.
Energy shift. Rest. Depression. More acceptance. Epiphany. Growth. Rest. I think you get the picture.
Anyway, it’s been a journey so far, and after a massive energy shift last week I’m feeling GOOD. Really full, and whole, and content. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been out walking every morning this week—hanging out with music, trees, and the good old whirling universe that’s made the difference. A bit of self-love and me-time does tend to bring the balance back a little, doesn’t it.
This morning’s epiphanies lead to the absolute realization that perfect cannot exist without imperfect, just as thick cannot exist without thin. And so the idea that I am what I am when I am it, began to sink a little deeper into the essence of me. It sounded and felt like the most beautiful, soothing lullaby to me.
As I tidied the mess that small children make of an otherwise tidy house, I let the toys, the noise and the lack of control just wrap around me, rather than ‘judge’ it for being ‘bad’. I accepted the chaos, and when I did, I clearly saw and understood the duality of it all. I cannot have these beautiful tiny humans, without the opposite of the good they bring. Because that is life. That is the chaos of it all.
The moment I accepted that small children just are where they are at (guys, that’s code for complete mess makers and lunatics 😛 ) the easier it was for me to accept where I am at. See? What magic is this life? SUCH magic. (And no, I’m not at ALL sorry for my CONSTANT use of the word magic. Ha ha ha :P)
I’m so grateful for the growth and change that is the story of me at this time in my life.
And I can’t wait to see what the next few pages of this wonderous book of life bring to me, and my sweet (cough: messy) bubbas.