I’m devastated, I really can’t paint it any other way.

Melbourne, my home town, has gone into stage four COVID restrictions (the highest level: full lockdown, but for essential food/medical needs), which is very much necessary given the rising case numbers, but also very much a kick in the gut for those of us who are already struggling a little with life in general (hello to all the parents of sweet-faced three-year-old, terrorists.)

The struggle is a little more real for Melbournians, today. Yesterday, it felt like I’d been stuck in a mud-brick home with two small children climbing the same walls they have been climbing for months. Today all the windows have been boarded up. Considering I’m human, and not yet floating in Buddhist Monkville…I’m not living my brightest day. I’m aching at the prospect of the dark tunnel lengthening, and although I know It’s possible to change my thoughts in favour of more joyous ones, I don’t really want to do that, today.

I want to say: I know I will be okay.

I want to say: I know we will be okay, together, and a big part of me believes it— in fact the shining depth of me believes it. Still, it’s hard. And today I feel like I need to be the person that voices my pain, in order to act as a mirror for anyone else who is struggling with this. We’ll struggle together.

Empathy and compassion are my two favourite words on a good day, and these shit-storms of life are usually where those two traits are birthed and polished, within even the hardest of human hearts. So there’s one good thing. And interestingly, even with my natural inclination towards empathy, I’ve also been triggered to dive deeper into that aspect of myself in order to keep the peace at this tough time.

We all experience the world through our own focused lens, and my goodness it can be hard to understand the views and behaviours of others, sometimes, especially when they differ so radically from our own. But the last thing we need is to separate at this time.

So I’m here to say to those of you who are struggling: I see you. It’s so bloody hard to be human at times like this—really, so very hard to push through the dark curtains of life unknown, but we will. And when we do, we will be so proud of the growth and change we’ve produced as a society, I’m so sure. When looking back at the mountains we’ve each climbed on this COVID journey, we’ll very likely value our freedom and peace far more. We’ve got to see that as a win.

Lastly, I’ve been a bit tardy with my thanks to those of you who have pushed past your comfort zones in order to meet the needs of the more vulnerable in society, whether it be health care workers or those offering compassionate care to those in need. How beautiful you are.

No really. You’re beautiful. And you make me proud to human alongside you.

All the best, everyone.

We’ve still got this.

xx Brooke

woman in yellow tshirt and beige jacket holding a fruit stand
Photo by Anna Shvets on



By brookecutler2

Liver of life, lover of everything. 💕

8 replies on “Devastated”

Aww.❤️Shruba, thank you so much for your beautiful support. And thank you also for the nomination. ☺️ I’m so glad my blog has touched you- I consider this place my home, and everyone who reads my words: my family. I’m so grateful to have you as part of the fam. xx

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Thank you, sweet lady. ☺️Yes, I believe that too. Very soon, there will be all the beautiful rainbows. ☺️💞xx

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Oh, Brooke, I feel this with my whole heart! I’m so devastated your area is going through this! It’s so painful when things have to close again (we’ve been on the brink for a few weeks). But it will be okay. I has to be okay. We’ll get through this, hopefully better and stronger. My heart weeps for all the pain everyone is going through. It hurts and it’s hard. I feel a little silly sometimes about feeling hopeful about a vaccine since so many doctors are being cautious about how effective it’ll actually end up being, but I don’t think hope is something we can let go of right now.

I have my own three year old; I know exactly what you mean. They were absolutely not meant to be cooped up. Ever. My husband was brave enough to take her out last weekend and he said she took him on a long walk. She’s been hopping like a rabbit every day since.


I know, Kat. I know you know exactly where I’m at. Thank goodness we each have hobbies we can do inside the home to keep us occupied- you can even EAT yours! Ha ha ha. We will get through. We sure will. ☺️👊xx

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hello to all the parents of sweet-faced three-year-old, terrorists. Forty years since I experienced this as a parent but you captured it perfectly, Brooke. Yes, your empathy shines through as always.

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Ha ha ha. Indeed, Keith. This threenager business is the real deal. 😂 With that said: sometimes I look at the adults of the world and think my three year old is much easier to handle. So sometimes I wonder if we do ever truly grow up. 😉🙂


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