Mistakes are our greatest gifts, and yet, we are buried in shame.
Do not make a mistake. Do not ever be bad.
We are shamed.
We are shamed.
We are human. Not one of us is perfect, not one.
I teach my children that their failures are the best things that could happen for them, their mistakes, beautiful lessons in how to do life beautifully.
Punishment breaks my heart. An eye for an eye, an ancient, barbaric way. And all of it pointless, in my eyes, because shame only drives the ‘bad’ underground, it doesn’t lovingly guide it to a better day.
Accepting our faults and carefully growing with them through life might work.
Shaming will destroy.
I choose the gentle way.
I choose self compassion, and compassion for others.
I choose…actually, I choose sleep.
I’m so terribly tired.
So terribly tired.
brooke-cutler.com 
4 replies on “Shamed”
I choose sleep, too.
I was raised to be practically perfect, and it was so painful. Learning from failures and mistakes is such a powerful way to learn, and yet there are so many people who are taught they are not allowed to.
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I know, my goodness. I see how much my kids learn (and how powerfully) from being ‘bad’ or doing ‘wrong’ and I’ve got to say: I am SO thankful for those opportunity’s for them. Using their own natural feelings, they can easily decide which ways they do and don’t want to be in the world.
Many brought up in our generation and before were taught to be fearful of being ‘bad’ and so we missed out on the opportunity to truly learn from experience through contrast.
At least ee can learn, now, lovely Kat. xx ☺️ ❤️
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If we don’t make ‘mistakes’ we are NOT living life fully enough.
Once, way back, when I was coaching U10 soccer, about the age when players begin to understand the off side rule, one player was called off side and promptly started crying. I called him over and later went around to his place and said to him that I was proud of him for trying to use this rule to his advantage and that I EXPECT him to be called off side many more times in his soccer life and learn all the time, otherwise he is not trying hard enough.
This is so important Brooke, thank you for so beautifully expressing this issue.
Shame on shame!
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Wonderful story, Peter! And so true. There is a wonderful saying that says something like, a boat that stays in the harbour might remain safe, but what’s the point in that, sort of thing. That sounds a little like your off side story. 🙂 I wish I could remember the boat story better. It was a good one. 🙂
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