Where do I put the pieces of me
that I do not wish to see?
Where do I put the pieces of others
that cut my gentle flesh
and baste me in the black oil
of smiles and lies?
Are we not all perfect, here?
Are we not all, nice?
Tied in the sweetest bows
of comfort and light
are the stories we tell.
Tied by the jagged boundaries
of our own
raging
humanity.
Open your eyes.
It is time
to wake
up.
In the cupboard of me
you will find a heart that is love,
a mind that is scattered,
a wind that is soft and warm,
a day that will never end.
In the cupboard of me
you will find ingredients
unknown
and strange.
You will find
all of life
in the cupboard of me.
Life for the choosing.
Life for the taking.
I’m down in the depths of me, today.
It feels like sadness, but it is far more powerful than that.
This beautiful sadness.
It is a sadness I long for, a sadness I crave.
It flows through my veins until there is nowhere left for it to go but out.
Onto this page.
Into new hearts— yours, his, hers, theirs.
I was always told this bliss only lives in happiness.
But this is not happiness.
This is an ache.
This is the most beautiful ache of all.
You’ll never be everyone’s cup of tea.
Might as well be the cup of tea
that you are.
I close my eyes to the world
and then there is only me.
When there is only me
I can feel.
I can see.
I can know
everything I need to know.
And
when I need to know more—
I close my eyes.
And I come back
to me
again.
Back to the only one
who knows my answers.
