Categories
Poetry

Sleep

Each moment is new and beautiful in my eyes.

This heart has been touched

by the wind of change

enough to know that everything begins

but nothing ends.

Not really.

Not really.

And so I sleep in the arms of the one I love,

knowing I am safe,

knowing I am home.

Knowing nothing has ended

or broken.

Knowing that everything goes on

and on

and on.

Categories
Poetry

Cherry Sky

The cherry sky

was never meant to stay,

however beautiful.

Categories
Life

Butterfly

Do you think a caterpillar knows, upon entering her cocoon, that she will soon die to the only form she’s ever known?

Do you think she is afraid of the dark of the wait, or what might find her on the other side of it all?

Do you think she knows she will soon have wings, and that, though she couldn’t fly before, soon she will soar?

Do you think she wonders what the world might look like, from up there?

Some say the caterpillar is ugly, and that the butterfly is truly the most beautiful version of life she can be.

I say she was always beautiful.

I say she’ll simply be a different kind of beautiful when she grows her wings.

Life is a process of being. Some days the butterfly will be still, some days she will burst into the sky, a flutter of speed.

But despite her many faces, she will always be.

Perhaps that’s her most beautiful part.

Categories
Life

A Strange Sort of Beautiful

It’s a strange sort of beautiful, this life.

I’ve followed the breadcrumbs, even the ones I knew would blow up my world. (They blew it up: into a million pieces of possibility. Beautiful possibility, for everyone around me.)

I have been lost. I have been ecstasy.

I have been right when I thought I was wrong, and wrong when I thought I was right.

I have been in love—my goodness, I have been in love—and I have been broken, and I have been dirty, and I have been changed.

This whole life long, I thought I was one thing.

I never have been one thing. I have been a starburst of infinity.

Always.

And now I see her rise, this girl, to this woman inside me— how she soars with the swell of abundant life.

From the ashes, she flies. Out of the haze. At least for today.

There will be new love in this shining place. I’ll see it with my heart, I’ll know it with my soul.

There will be friendship built on truth and depth and eternity.

There will be a roaring spirit, in the place where magic lives.

And there will be you.

Always, there will be you, my friends.

photo of birds flying during daytime
Photo by Yogendra Singh on Pexels.com

Categories
Life

Stuck

When I felt

the stuck of you,

I knew you needed

to move.

The mud in the air around you

as you tap

tap

tapped away

told the story of a stuck girl.

Getting the job done,

wishing you were anywhere else

but there.

I supposed

you must have spent days,

weeks,

months or years,

longing to flow

like the river you were born to be.

But instead,

you’ve been there.

In a state that outgrew you

long ago.

I wish I could tell you:

it’s okay to move.

Categories
Spiritual Awakening

Just The Way That I Am

I was sitting on a public toilet, talking to an invisible person in my mind.

It didn’t occur to me to think it strange. It was about eight months into this new woo woo phase of my life—the one where, among other things, I seemed to be picking up some pretty wonderful advice from an invisible world that I still wasn’t entirely sure I believed in. Could it be that my guides and angels were just a figment of the wonderland that is my imagination? Well, yes. That was entirely possible, I thought.

And yet, by that point in my awakening journey, the number of psychic experiences popping up in my life had become so great that I was starting to wonder how I could still be in disbelief about it all. I’d even started to think back through the years of my life, looking at some of the daydreams of my past (visions that I can still see in my mind, that had oddly come to pass years later.) At the time, I’d passed them off as coincidence. Now…I was slowly changing my mind.

Back to the toilet then, shall we (sorry about that, ha ha ha :P) I had been leaning into the woo woo stuff at that point, really trying to learn about it and figure out how I wanted to use it in my day to day life. Here was a good opportunity to connect. My husband and I were about to go to Teppanyaki where shy me would be seated at a table with (omg) strangers, and not only that, but I’d been experiencing a bit of depression at the time. I really was a bit nervous as to how the night might go.

So I asked for help. ‘Guides,’ I thought, can you please show me/tell me something that will happen tonight that might help me?’ You have to understand that, at this point, I was still highly skeptical about the validity of my relationship with my guides, or even if the woo woo existed at all. And so, when my imagination flashed me a vision of a lady leaning into me, deep in conversation about something that seemed to be quite profound…I let it in, and then I let it go.

It was probably nothing.

With the vision, though, came a strong knowing that this lady had something very important to say to me and that I should absolutely listen and go with the flow of where the conversation was taking my thoughts and feelings. I admit I was curious.

The evening wore on and I forgot all about the vision and my silent conversation with the invisible people. The food was delicious and the wine was also wonderful…it really did seem like it was going to be a fairly nice night, and completely woo woo free. Until the cook, who was sizzling the food right there on the hot plate in front of us got out his playing cards and announced it was time to play a guessing game.

Well. What a perfect opportunity to test out my guides, hey? Surely they’d be able to give me the correct answers if the woo woo stuff really was real? And so, I did what I do. I asked them for an answer. As the cook shuffled the cards, he asked the lady beside me to think about what number she thought he was about to reveal. She ummed and ahh-ed and laughed and smiled. Number 3 flashed into my mind.

I can’t remember the number the lady chose. All I remember was the shock that surged through my body when the cook turned the card around. It was number 3. What a coincidence. Next guess belonged to the ladies’ husband, and again I asked my invisible people for the answer. 6, they flashed at me.

And 6 it was. 

This happened one more time, and once again my ‘guess’ was correct. By now, I was almost bursting with what on earth is happening to me! to the point where I turned to the lady beside me and confessed. ‘Oh, my goodness. You’re not going to believe this.’

It was what happened next that I will never—not for my entire life long—forget. The lady leaned into me, just like in the vision. And with a very serious face she said: ‘As soon as you walked in the door, I knew there was something about you. You had a glow that no one else had. I’m a little bit psychic too, so, yes. That’s how I was able to see.’

I nearly fell-off-my-chair. The vision had come true, which essentially told me that my guides had listened to my question and given me the answer, just as I had asked them to. Not only that, but the universe just so happened to sit me at a table with a lady who could help move me forward on my journey. I mean, guys. How could I not believe after all of this?

What followed was a profound conversation between me and my new woo woo friend about the nature of the universe, about my worries of how to fit the woo woo into a life I’d already made sense of. This new ability (or at least the sudden awareness of an old one) changed everything for me, and I really wasn’t at all sure about how to integrate it all. She told me she didn’t use her abilities as a job: they just were, and she just accepted them as a part of her lifeI’m starting to think maybe that was the very message I was meant to take away from the conversation.

Acceptance seems to be what I’ve struggled with the most on this awakening journey. Learning to trust that what is happening in my life is happening for a very specific reason, whether I know what that reason is, or not.

I’ve not communicated directly with my guides much at all since then because, honestly, I’ve been SO afraid.  This new truth of mine just gives the world another reason to make me feel as though I don’t quite fit in: and that is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. But with the upheaval of this whole ‘awakening’ has come a profound anchor into an inner strength I’ve never known. That’s why I’m slowly starting to accept everything that is, and speak openly and honestly about it all, no matter how it frightens me. It’s okay if people judge. I accept myself, and that is all that really matters.

Not only that—I’m finally starting to love myself.

Just the way I am.

woman meditating on rock
Photo by Felipe Borges on Pexels.com

 

Categories
Life

Dreams Will Come

Close your eyes.

Trust.

Dreams will come.

Categories
Life

It’s Time

It’s time to speak the words I too often hide.

Because, actually, silence can kill.

And words can change the world for the better.

photo of baby on gray wooden board
Photo by Muhammad Moin Ulhaq on Pexels.com

 

It’s time to love my life like I only have one.

Because I do only have one.

Well, that’s what some people think, anyway.

hot air balloons on air
Photo by Mundo Sem Muros on Pexels.com

 

It’s time to answer the questions that hide within the book of me.

I can’t erase them until I’ve answered them.

And I need more room in that book to write the rest of my life.

woman lying on green grass while holding pencil
Photo by Liam Anderson on Pexels.com

It’s time for me to stop letting the big meanies win all the time.

Because big meanies think that doughnuts are only for eating.

I mean, really. Whoever would think a sensible thing like that?

woman wearing sweater covering her eyes with doughnuts
Photo by Mahima on Pexels.com

Categories
Life

The Wind of Change

Every so often, the wind of change blows me a dream.

A spark.

A glimpse of the person I truly am inside.

Sigh.

Where do you blow, sweet wind?

And what do you wish this sleepy dreamer to be?

illustration of moon showing during sunset
Photo by David Besh on Pexels.com

Categories
Life

The Power of a Moment

I’ll never underestimate the power of a moment.

In my world, a moment is never just a moment.

A moment is a marvel.

A step before a jump.

A promise of something new and wonderful to keep—

If I choose to keep it, that is.

adult backpack blur business
Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Pexels.com

A moment— in my world— is a time to begin again.

A chance to let ‘no’ become ‘yes’.

A chance to let ‘yes’ become ‘hells to the absolute no’.

You know them, don’t you? Moments?

The split seconds of life that we can choose to take, or leave?

The gifts that give as much as we ask them to, depending on how open we are to receiving them?

I do love a good moment.

I do love a good bit of marvelous and new.

woman in gray cardigan giving white gift box
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com