Categories
Life

This Beautiful Sadness

I’m down in the depths of me, today.

It feels like sadness, but it is far more powerful than that.

This beautiful sadness.

It is a sadness I long for, a sadness I crave.

It flows through my veins until there is nowhere left for it to go but out.

Onto this page.

Into new hearts— yours, his, hers, theirs.

I was always told this bliss only lives in happiness.

But this is not happiness.

This is an ache.

This is the most beautiful ache of all.

woman lying in bathtub filled with water
Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com

 

Categories
Life

The Beautiful River

I cried a beautiful river, today.

A river that moved me to the core, and probably because I really didn’t see that river coming.

It was my little boy’s final day of kindergarten— next year he’ll be off to start the life of a little school man, and that in itself is enough to coax a river from the hiding place of me.

But although these tears were cried in the final moments of farewell… the tears that I cried didn’t actually belong to my Son, or the Kinder teachers we’ll miss so dearly.

They belonged to all of us. Humanity. Every little boy and girl who ever grew up…and forgot to remember that we all have one very important need. And that need is: to feel special in our world.

So, without further ado: here is the poem that set me off. I hope it turns you into the blubbering mess that you ought to be if you’re not feeling as special as you truly deserve to feel.

So much love, you gang of legends. Off we fly. To find the people and the places that really do make us feel…special.

xx Brooke

You’re a very special person,

and I want you to know

how I loved to be your teacher;

how fast the weeks did go!

 

Please come back to visit me

as through the grades you grow.

Try hard to learn all that you can

there is so much to know.

 

The one thing I tried to teach you

to last your whole life through,

is to know that you are special

just because you’re you.

 

Ah, jeez. Here I go again. Blubbering. Ha ha ha. 😛 Right. Off for some ice-cream then, hey, my beautiful bloggy friends? And to watch ‘Love Actually’, too. Maybe. On second thoughts…maybe not. xx

adult black and white dalmatian licking face of woman
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

 

Categories
Spiritual Awakening

The Epiphany

I had an epiphany yesterday, at a time where my skin was particularly susceptible to the energy of human beings that were not me. We were out as a family, enjoying the humming vibe of a dumpling festival (nom, nom, nom) and it struck me that I was running on supercharge.

As I looked around me, each person seemed so clear, alive and vulnerable. It was as if I were seeing them through a more sensitive, vibrant lense of the reality that most people know. Certainly a more sensitive lense than I have known for many years. It was, in the words of my precious little five-year-old: ‘Blow minding.’

As I stood in line at the dumpling truck—joyously waving at my husband and two little muffins, whose faces shone back at me like the brightest lights in the world— I realised that this was the way I used to live in the world, before I started living on adult autopilot. And I wondered…what on earth happened? Where did my authentic self go during all of those autopilot years, and how did my heart and soul dim quite as drastically as they did?

The epiphany that came to me as I stood in line, deciding between the Steak and cracked pepper dim-sims or the plain old beef was…I had to forget my true nature so that I could tell the difference between a life half lived, and a life lived as it authentically should be lived.

For instance…over the past ten years, I’ve had no idea that I was only half living (as in, I had no idea I was suppressing my authentic emotional self, in any way.) I was happy. I was writing and genuinely enjoying family life. I thought I was being me. Until last year, when my heart suddenly burst open again, and oh my goodness, I remember you! happened.

Yesterday’s epiphany had me wondering: if I forgot my true nature for so many years…how many others have forgotten theirs, too? How many others have ever even wondered: is this me? And is this as much of my life that I want to live?

Anyway, that’s gotten quite deep, so I’ll leave it there for today. But feel free to share in the comments if you’ve experienced a similar re-awakening in your life, because I really do think the more of us who speak up about these things…the easier it will get for the sleepy heads of tomorrow to wake up again, too. Well, I sure hope so, anyway. xx

person covering woman with blanket
Photo by Min An on Pexels.com
Categories
Poetry

The Ocean of Me

I close my eyes

and the warm wind becomes my breath.

This wind—

it whispers into the ocean of me, into the dark

of my waters, deep.

It hands me the calm of the moon,

and it grants me the strength of the sky.

This wind—

this warm, lovely wind.

It reminds me that sometimes

life is best left as a question

without an answer.

It reminds me that

it’s okay to let the dark water rise,

sometimes.

body of water across sunset
Photo by Public Domain Photography on Pexels.com
Categories
The Darling Blog Of May

Darling Day 3. What’s in a word?

Let’s talk about words.

I adore words. I wrote about them here and I will, no doubt, write about them again on this blog because… I’m a little bit nerdy, like that.

I love writing words.

I love reading them, hearing them, thinking them. But most of all: I love feeling them.

Writing is one of those feeling things, for me. Reading also. And even though books have been a huge presence in my life for quite some time, it wasn’t until studying creative writing at university that I really started to think about words, and how they function in our lives.

Truly. I was stunned. How was it that something as simple as word choice could completely change the meaning of a sentence? And did you know that removing a word could enhance a sentence, rather than detract from it? I mean. What magic is that!

And so. I thought— why not dissect a word during the darling blog of May? Pick a word; play with it. Search for the magic hidden in its guts and sprinkle that magic around so all of you can share some too. Wouldn’t that be darling?

Yes! Let’s do it! And, in honour of the darling blog of May, the lucky word that will be chopped in half and gutted will be…

Darling. (Ha! I bet you didn’t see that one coming.)

Dar-ling.

The start of the word is a little bit ugly, isn’t it? (My Australian accent thinks so, anyway). To me, DAR drops off the tongue like a rock that’s just been lobbed into the ocean. It’s clunky. And not at all graceful.

But.

If we look at the end of the word—the LING sound—can you hear how it flings itself off the tongue? Isn’t-that-cool? It sounds like a lovely little handbell on a hotel countertop, one you could ring and ring all day just to hear the tinkling goodness of its song.

To me, it’s the LING part of darling that makes the word chime. It’s the LING that makes the word sing.

Darling.

Darling.

See? Pretty, isn’t it?

Then there’s the deeper stuff of words, the emotions that naturally rise from a word because of how we’ve heard it used before. Take darling, for example. We’ve all heard it said a thousand times, and usually, it’s said with a deep puff of love. It makes sense that when we hear the word darling, we will feel nice.

Of course, the word darling doesn’t always bring in all the good feels. Mums? Dads? I’ll bet you’ll agree. The word darling can be something of a double-edged sword when it comes to using it on our precious little cherubs. At least, it is in my house.

Example 1. ‘Darling. Please. Get down off the TOP rung of the ladder. For the HUNDRETH time.’

Example 2. ‘Darling. You are so many different kinds of lovely. Never change.’

How epic is that. ONE word. So many meanings.

So! We come to the end of my little nerd fest. I hope you forgive me for putting you through all that, especially if you’re not a big reader or writer. Then again, it is all a part of this little darling month of mine—pushing the boundaries of darling, seeing just how much this little word has to give.

I think it gives an awful lot. I so hope you agree. xx

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The darling blog of May