Categories
Poetry

Write With The Wind

I cannot create unless I soften.

I cannot write with the wind,

I must become it.

I am the beautiful breeze that flows these words into the sky of all things.

Human is but a small part of me.

The blissful wind

I am

is the rest.

Categories
Healing

Healing Again

Some more memories came up for healing, today.

It is the most fascinating process, it truly is. Especially considering the memories, as they come up, are attached to a physical feeling within my body and a recognition of the vibration of that particular feeling. (Eg- shame, guilt etc.)

For those of you who are relatively new here, thinking: what on earth is she on about, I should probably explain. I experienced quite a drastic life change a couple of years ago which I call, and many call, a spiritual awakening. After this time, my nervous system returned to the super-sensitive energy system of my youth and has since been dragging me through a healing journey of sorts— a journey that is slowly bringing to the surface the buried wounds of the highly sensitive girl I once was.

The emotions that came up with the memory today were guilt and shame. My goodness. All the bellyaching. And interestingly, the recognition of these particular vibrations was a surprise for me, momentarily, because I had completely forgotten that guilt and shame were a part of this particular experience. Obviously, I’d done an excellent job of burying them.

Let me go through the memory that came up.

I was around nineteen, I’d say, and still living at home. I’d never had a large group of friends, always opting for my own company and the company of my precious keyboard (and my C.D’S and my Nintendo 64.) I was working with my Dad at the time of the memory and, one day, full of excitement, he pulled out a gift for me. A very expensive one. A game of laser tag— a game that would require a large group of friends to go along with me. Friends I did have, If I counted them all, but…I didn’t want to.

I froze.

I could not do this.

‘Why?’ my Dad asked.

‘Because I don’t have enough friends,’ I said, petrified.

Shame-ridden because anxiety was the real reason.

Guilt-ridden that my Dad had done this beautiful thing for me, and yet there was absolutely no way I could even think about doing it. My mind, my everything, was frozen.

Anxiety wasn’t a new thing for me. It had stopped me from taking part in the year eleven ball a couple of years before because I just wanted to watch my friends do it. That was nonsense, of course. I was a dreamer, an all the way through romantic. I longed to take part in the ball. The real reason was that I was terrified. Surely no boy would want to go with me…and the rules were that the girls had to do the asking.

Nope. Not me. What if they said no?

Or worse…what if they laughed at me. And then said no.

I still struggle with my sensitivities, I won’t lie, but now I am able to appreciate them, too. I’m often able to harness the most beautiful depth and power by bringing them to life and asking them to shine, instead of just having them break me like they sometimes choose to do. So there’s that lovely thing. For example, without them, this blog would have died about two years ago. And where would I be without you lot, hey? 🙂

The thing is, though, these ‘superpowers’ have done quite a bit of damage to me in the past, and now is absolutely the time to take care of that poor little muffin child I was. My goodness, I ache for her.

But the great news is, in this moment, she is safe and well.

In this moment she is here.

And healing.

purple rose on wooden surface
Photo by Creative Free Stock on Pexels.com

 

Categories
Poetry

I Am The Air

Music is the wind,

and I am the air.

And we gracefully dance,

and we blissfully play,

and we claim our place

within the fabric of

the other

until we are one.

man wearing denim jacket singing on stage
Photo by Eric Esma on Pexels.com

 

Categories
Poetry

Disabled

Imagine.

If the highly sensitive

folk

labelled

those who are not

like us:

disorder,

disabled,

broken.

Imagine.

Just imagine

that.

And we’re the broken ones

they say.

The ones who paint a canvas

as naturally as the sun paints

the earth.

Disabled,

they say.

No

I say.

Categories
Life

The Journey

Life, for me, has been an up and down ride.

A little like one of those slides at the playground, the ones that follow a wave-like movement and snake you all the way down to the ground, sometimes taking your stomach with it.

Life, for me, also changed when I had the epiphany that my body (and I believe all bodies, but that’s a theory for another post, I suppose) was absorbing the energy of life around me, and I was reacting heavily based on whatever it was absorbing. Needless to say: learning, and exploring, the term Empath changed my life. And learning about subtle energy and meditation changed it even more.

This morning—all in the space of an hour—I’ve had memories resurface that (although I missed the memo at the time) were very obvious signposts as to my body’s highly sensitive nature. I’ll never forget, about a million years ago, sitting in the passenger seat of our old clunker with my Dad at the wheel. Every morning we would travel to our shared workplace together, and every morning, in a confused state of discomfort, I would shudder as I listened to the morning show hosts chatter away.

I adored the two of them. The whole town did, actually, they were a beautiful pair. But. They were extremely negative, and always it felt like there was a heaviness or grumpiness to their chatter that had me dreading the morning commute. It was confusing because I liked them. It was horrible because they felt so entirely uncomfortable within my body.

I now understand that this is because of the way that I am built, that the more dense the feeling I’m exposed to, the more I tend to flounder. As a result, a good amount of alone time is extremely important for me to get back into the middle of me. Extremely important. (Have I mentioned how important alone time is for me? Very.)

It’s not all bad, though. If grumpiness feels completely horrible to me, you might be able to guess how absolutely beautiful love feels within my tiny human frame. And nature. And music— oh good heavens, don’t even get me started on the absolute purity that music fills me with. It feels like a beautiful wind. A wind that twists and frees my body in ways I never thought possible.

Anyhow, it’s a journey. A beautiful adventure, filled with tears and joy and all the horrible lovely things. Where to next?

I suppose we’re all about to find out. 🙂

woman in brown jacket and gray knit cap
Photo by ArtHouse Studio on Pexels.com

Categories
Fable

Sun and Moon, Unconditionally

‘Sun?’

‘Yes, Moon?’

‘Why are the humans always so angry, do you think?’

‘Because Moon, they haven’t realised that, like us, they have the ability to shine.’

‘They do? So why don’t more of them shine, then? If they can, why don’t they?’

‘Moon…humans spend so much time telling angry stories, their shine gets lost beneath the mud of it all.’

‘Oh, Sun. That makes me so, so sad.’

‘Me too, Moon. It makes me sad, too.’

And as the night rose into the day, Moon and Sun continued to shine on the beautiful humans, without asking for anything in return.

Categories
Life

War

I ache

for it all.

It is a war.

It is a world wide

war

announcing

the differing languages

of intolerance.

Categories
Life

Unconditional Love

www.instagram.com/tv/CA3H8dzgg1f/

The answer to the question of peace lies within each of us.

We are all human.

We all have mothers, and sisters, and best friends, and bad hair days.

Human.

No matter who we are, no matter what we do.

Peace starts with unconditionally loving ourselves. It starts with seeing the ways in which we are a little bit shit or unique and realising…we love ourselves anyway.

This will allow us to see each other clearly.

This will allow us to see that we are just as flawed or unique as the neighbour we judge, and that is okay because we are human. This will empower us to choose growth, change, peace: we cannot choose these things unless we acknowledge the need for them in the first place.

It starts with seeing the oppressed, and seeing the oppressor and vowing to walk with them both until we have all walked into our sameness.

We can no longer hide from our shadows.

We have seen this day a thousand times before, and each time we’ve been too frightened to truly see, and move somewhere else.

We have fought wars, we have swept knowledge under the carpet… but we’ve collectively grown enough now and we know: this time is different.

We know this is the beginning of peace because it has to be.

And so we make the choice: seek acceptance of the self, and of the all.

Or keep hiding from what we know to be true.

The choice is ours.

I choose unconditional love.

❤️

Categories
The Darling Blog Of May

Darling Day 11. Nan

She was just one of those people everyone loved.

Darling, through and through.

When she was good, she was like an orange wind, laced with mint and strawberry sweet. She was kind, but not in a: ‘Hi, how are you?’ sort of way. She was kind in a: ‘Let me hold your soul for you,’ sort of way.

Of course, she had her demonic side, as we all do from time to time on the ever puffing human train. But her darling side far outweighed any dark side of the moon nonsense circling her sky.

She was the first non-doctor to hold my tiny human body, before even my Mum.

She was also the first to hold my soul, and really truly keep it home.

And so today’s darling day is for you, Nan.

I hope you look down and smile every time I do the ‘Nan dance’ on the porch or cartwheel alongside the car to wish my babies the happiest of goodbyes. I learned all of that silly beautiful from you. And as long as I live, I’ll be proud that most of me is made from the love you gave me.

I now share that love with the world, because it’s the only thing that feels truly right to me—so thank you, Nan.

Thank you for teaching me what true love is.

Always in my heart, sweet lady.

Every darling day of mine.

pensive grandmother with granddaughter having interesting conversation while cooking together in light modern kitchen
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

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Categories
The Darling Blog Of May

Darling Day 7. Empathy

There is not a single person.

In this whole wide world.

Who will not respond favourably.

To empathy.

To ‘I know what you think you’ve done.

But that story is not you.’

There is not a single person.

Who will not respond.

To unconditional love.

That in itself is darling.

But the true darling of it all is this:

Love

can fix

it all.