But if you only have eyes
for the way you think life
should
be,
then surely you are forgetting
to live.
To truly live.
As you are.
In this moment, this
version of life that you
so desperately wish
to escape.
But if you only have eyes
for the way you think life
should
be,
then surely you are forgetting
to live.
To truly live.
As you are.
In this moment, this
version of life that you
so desperately wish
to escape.
What do I see when I see two sides at war?
I see the middle of it all. I see the hurt of both parties, and though I tend to take the side of whoever seems to have the most rational argument (according to my perspective) I can’t help but feel just…sadness. Absolute frustration, powerlessness and sadness.
I’m thinking specifically of this war that’s been raging in the U.S of late, both in terms of the political polarities tearing a hole in America, and in terms of the vastly differing socio-economic backgrounds and belief systems shaken up by the divided states of covid.
I’ve just come away from watching a video of the storming of the Capitol building. The video was clearly put together to support an agenda: a ‘Trump is horrible, and we are going to prove it by carefully constructing a highlight reel of the most shocking, heart-breaking scenes from the day.’ It worked. The video was shocking in its portrayal of Trump and his many loyal followers.
And yet, regardless of how well the video was crafted to sway public opinion to one particular side, there is no denying what happened that day was truly real. No denying the violence. No denying that this sort of primal aggression no longer belongs on the human stage: we’re not cavemen, anymore. Still, our primal instincts remain. How to healthily and peacefully honour them is a mystery yet to be solved by humanity, it seems.
As I watched the riot exploding all about the place, I took a side. I knew that I was taking a side, because I was thinking, ‘ How could they do this? This is so horrible. These people must be (insert judgment here.)’
But then it happened again. That thing that happens to me when I see an absolute wrong, and I ask myself more questions. But why are so many people screaming the same story, and how can so many people be wrong about what they believe? And how bad must their oppression have become for them to be behaving in such a dramatically inappropriate way?
It saddens me. All of it.
How on earth does a species overcome such drastically wide gaps in views and belief systems? How does a species become one harmonised species, rather than fifty billion tiny fragments of confusion, hatred and blame?
I don’t know.
So, I’m a little…I’m not sure what I am. I’m not sure frightened is the right word, and yet frightened really does seem to be the only word I can come up with in the face of all of this fight.
I do not condone the horrible horribleness (excuse my delightful eloquence, here) that occurred at the Capitol building that day, nor do I condone the hatred and inequality perpetuated by humanity, still. Oh my goodness, still. But what is there to do?
I don’t know what to do but surrender into the bleakness and just…hope. Hope that we can sort our stuff out before things get ever so much worse. Hope that humanity can find love and compassion, even in the face of absolute horror and ridiculousness.
Hope.
Hope that one day there will be peace.
Because all I’ve ever wanted was peace.
All I’ve ever wanted was peace.
But surely you know
the earth still breathes
the very same breath.
The very same breath.
And surely you know
we earthlings do breathe
the very same breath.
The very same
breath.
What is this softness
that takes my heart dancing
beneath the sad moon?
When aching life pours from the sky,
and my heart cries
to be heard
for once
without question.
Will I listen?
No.
I will hear,
but I will not listen, for fear,
of what?
The heart needs too much.
The heart needs too much
that I,
whoever I am,
cannot ask life to give.
It’s funny how life hits you.
Whilst taking a shower earlier, life hit me in a simple, yet profound way.
A sudden wave of gratefulness. For hot water, my goodness, such a simple thing: taken for granted every single day by far too many.
How grateful I felt for that water. How grateful I felt to have access to water, at all.
In that moment, I wished so desperately that those around the world who have never known the beauty of hot water on skin, might know that delicious feeling one day.
It’s funny how life hits you.
If not this moment,
when?
If not under this orange-grey sky,
beneath these sweeping willows, fair,
where?
How do we taste the rain
and know it is good
if we do not open our mouths?
The warm salty promise
of new found life,
calling us home,
asking to grow our bones
in partnership with the sun.
When? Where? How, life?
Now.
Here.
This way, life.
How beautiful,
to know there is love.
There is love.
There is
love.
I do not believe in seeking justice.
I believe in healing
and forgiveness.
I believe in walking
with humans
who are imperfect
like the rest of us.
Like the rest of us.
Imperfect.
Like the rest of us.
Like the rest of us.
Hush.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
It’s alright.
Everything will be alright.
Sweet aching quiet.
Soft night, curled up beside me.
I know you.
I know your fragile whispers, well.