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Life

Thank Goodness

I knew it would take me there. To the place beyond everything, the place that shows me, really quite beautifully, who I truly am.

I can’t remember the last time I watched Legends of the Fall. A very long time ago. A lifetime ago, you might say, and if you did say that I wouldn’t argue with you. I last saw the movie before I had truly lived. Before I had truly ached. Before I had truly felt loss, and the echoing stillness of life’s fragility.

Last night I watched the movie through new eyes, and it tore me apart. Very beautifully, it tore me apart, but it tore me apart all the same.

It reminded me of the depth and softness of who I am.

It reminded me of the beauty of the human connection.

And it reminded me why I write: to feel and to help others feel, too.

Thank goodness I watched that movie, last night.

Thank goodness.

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Categories
Life

Ben

It was gardening day.

Ben stared me down with those eyes and told me he doesn’t like flowers.

‘That’s okay, Ben,’ I smiled. ‘You don’t have to like flowers. So. What do you like, then, hey?’

No response.

You see, we’re all different, but Ben’s different from even the most different of us.

Ben isn’t broken.

In fact, Ben hardly knows me, and yet every week he puts my bins out without me even asking him to. He sits on the porch and watches the birds drift as I tug at the weeds and silently curse into the garden beds. He grabs the lawnmower cord and yanks it with one hundred percent confidence that this is one thing he does know how to do.

Ben’s just…Ben.

And I’m just the new girl on the block.

The new girl on my own block.

And the new girl on Ben’s block, too.

two woman sitting in front of body of water
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