For when the rain comes,
I know I am safe in the home
of me.
Categories
Tag: Safety
I’m feeling such a tender ache within me, this morning. The aching quiet, I call it, this softness. This knowing of connection between humans and life, between humans and other humans.
Tenderness — more specifically, sitting within the depths of this beautiful, intense feeling with others — is something I’ve accidentally avoided in the past. I had no idea I’d been avoiding it until…oh, about ten minutes ago when I realised how beautiful it feels, and how much I’ve been craving it. And avoiding it.
I thought I wore my heart on my sleeve. I do wear my heart on my sleeve, so it’s easy to see how I’ve fooled myself. But when I really think of the years gone by, I think of that bright, bubbly sunshine I used to be…and I see that her sunshine was a wall. Of protection. A wall to keep the depth of intensity in. Or out.
I still get a little scared. I still want to run. But every time I run, I lose a beautiful, beautiful moment of human connection that could have changed two human lives for the better. Every serious moment I cover with humour, I suppose, is way of rejecting myself and the truth of what is asking to be.
Perhaps I’m over thinking it. But to me this is more of a feel, a feel that is running very deeply through me on this cloudy morning.
This tenderness is so lovely, far too lovely to live without.
From now on, I choose to be brave.
Categories
Unconditionally
Bloggy friends?
If ever there comes a time
where you think you have no one,
please remember
that is entirely untrue.
If you feel alone,
If you need more love
more connection
more safety
than you have?
I’m here.
You have me.
I just wanted to say that.
xx
Categories
Life Be Cradled
Let the soft and delicate know me.
Let my life be cradled
by the warm arms
of peace.
Tonight I miss my childhood.
I miss the way my Nan dipped onto to her knees and told me how precious I was to her. With her entire body, especially her eyes.
I miss the way my Mum held me when I cried. I miss the feeling of our two aches melting into one, and somehow just knowing that was a beautiful, beautiful thing.
I’ve never missed the safe pieces of childhood before—at least not consciously, and I’d imagine it’s because most adults become adults and assume that the word adult means: ‘safe enough’ and ‘responsible enough’.
Well, I’m here to tell you…no.
Actually no.
I believe that adult means: whoever and whatever you are, when you are it.
And what I am right now, is aching for the child I once was, and the beautiful world of love that enveloped her during her younger years.
I ache to be emotionally held. Because that’s how it all began for me.
Of course I miss it.
I’ve learned to meditate and open my heart, and thank-goodness for that because it fills me with all the lovely things, including the beautiful feeling of being held in the way I so often feel I need to be.
Still, I miss the feeling of being emotionally held by another, without judgement.
Without judgement.
I just do, I miss it.
And so I miss my childhood.
I also know it’s okay that I miss my childhood.
That part, I think, might be the beautiful silver lining of this grey story.
Why can’t they see
when they tell me,
all of them,
to stay safe?
Stay home, stay safe.
Away from the virus that sucks the life
out of the human race
I so adore.
Stay safe, they say,
within the flimsy walls of home.
And yet a virus deadly
rages on
undetected
within the very walls they say
will hold me.
They do not see
these walls are fractured by
anger, spread
blame, spread
shame, spread
along social media currents
until no one is safe at home.
And so I say to them
I shall stay home,
safe,
within the only safe home I know to be
true.
The home of me.
And there I will build a bright new world
from the inside out.
Categories
Twinkle, Twinkle
Twinkle, twinkle little light
shine on me your beauty bright.
Hold me gently, love me dear
show me I have naught to fear.
Twinkle, twinkle little light
sing me through the darkest night.
.
brooke-cutler.com 