Categories
Life

Brave

I’m feeling such a tender ache within me, this morning. The aching quiet, I call it, this softness. This knowing of connection between humans and life, between humans and other humans.

Tenderness — more specifically, sitting within the depths of this beautiful, intense feeling with others — is something I’ve accidentally avoided in the past. I had no idea I’d been avoiding it until…oh, about ten minutes ago when I realised how beautiful it feels, and how much I’ve been craving it. And avoiding it.

I thought I wore my heart on my sleeve. I do wear my heart on my sleeve, so it’s easy to see how I’ve fooled myself. But when I really think of the years gone by, I think of that bright, bubbly sunshine I used to be…and I see that her sunshine was a wall. Of protection. A wall to keep the depth of intensity in. Or out.

I still get a little scared. I still want to run. But every time I run, I lose a beautiful, beautiful moment of human connection that could have changed two human lives for the better. Every serious moment I cover with humour, I suppose, is way of rejecting myself and the truth of what is asking to be.

Perhaps I’m over thinking it. But to me this is more of a feel, a feel that is running very deeply through me on this cloudy morning.

This tenderness is so lovely, far too lovely to live without.

From now on, I choose to be brave.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
Categories
Life

Unconditionally

Bloggy friends?

If ever there comes a time

where you think you have no one,

please remember

that is entirely untrue.

If you feel alone,

If you need more love

more connection

more safety

than you have?

I’m here.

You have me.

I just wanted to say that.

xx

Categories
Life

Life Be Cradled

Let the soft and delicate know me.

Let my life be cradled

by the warm arms

of peace.

person holding white dandelion flower
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

 

Categories
Life

Held

Tonight I miss my childhood.

I miss the way my Nan dipped onto to her knees and told me how precious I was to her. With her entire body, especially her eyes.

I miss the way my Mum held me when I cried. I miss the feeling of our two aches melting into one, and somehow just knowing that was a beautiful, beautiful thing.

I’ve never missed the safe pieces of childhood before—at least not consciously, and I’d imagine it’s because most adults become adults and assume that the word adult means: ‘safe enough’ and ‘responsible enough’.

Well, I’m here to tell you…no.

Actually no.

I believe that adult means: whoever and whatever you are, when you are it.

And what I am right now, is aching for the child I once was, and the beautiful world of love that enveloped her during her younger years.

I ache to be emotionally held. Because that’s how it all began for me.

Of course I miss it.

I’ve learned to meditate and open my heart, and thank-goodness for that because it fills me with all the lovely things, including the beautiful feeling of being held in the way I so often feel I need to be.

Still, I miss the feeling of being emotionally held by another, without judgement.

Without judgement.

I just do, I miss it.

And so I miss my childhood.

I also know it’s okay that I miss my childhood.

That part, I think, might be the beautiful silver lining of this grey story.

woman and little girl in black long sleeve shirt and black pants
Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

Categories
Life

Safe

Why can’t they see

when they tell me,

all of them,

to stay safe?

Stay home, stay safe.

Away from the virus that sucks the life

out of the human race

I so adore.

Stay safe, they say,

within the flimsy walls of home.

And yet a virus deadly

rages on

undetected

within the very walls they say

will hold me.

They do not see

these walls are fractured by

anger, spread

blame, spread

shame, spread

along social media currents

until no one is safe at home.

And so I say to them

I shall stay home,

safe,

within the only safe home I know to be

true.

The home of me.

And there I will build a bright new world

from the inside out.

Categories
Poetry

Twinkle, Twinkle

Twinkle, twinkle little light

shine on me your beauty bright.

Hold me gently, love me dear

show me I have naught to fear.

Twinkle, twinkle little light

sing me through the darkest night.

yellow lantern near body of water during night
Photo by Burak K on Pexels.com

 

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