Categories
Life

Life Is For Living

Life is for living. It’s a lovely sentiment, isn’t it?

Lovely. And vague.

Because what, exactly, is living?

I turned thirty-eight this year, and I’m still fine tuning what living means to me. I imagine I always will be. Ever evolving. Ever learning and growing.

One of the beautiful things I’ve learnt about what living is to me, is that I have these five senses for a reason. For most of my life, I woke of a morning, achieved the mindless list of tasks laid out ahead, went to bed, and repeated the whole thing again the next day.

No wonder my soul was starving.

I’ve started to understand that, to fully live, you need to know yourself and how your senses interact with the world around you. I, for instance, am extremely sensitive and I’ve come to the realisation that because my senses are heightened…I need to be particularly conscious of my environment.

For example: I need to try and keep things tidy, both internally and externally. I feel calm when things are tidy. I feel calm when I am completing one task at a time. Overwhelm, for me, equals poor mental health and activation of either the fight, flight, or freeze response (and, I assure you, none of these survival responses have ever worked out well for me, in the past.)

This time in my life is where I’ve begun to really use my senses to enhance my world and wellbeing. I’ve come to understand that everything we perceive in life has a texture and depth, and I try to utilise this knowledge to better my life, as much as I can.

For some reason, my nervous system tends to do much better when it comes to perceiving softer, lighter more porous textures. Wood grain soothes me. Light, drifting plants soothe me. Soft pinks, mauves, light greys: these are all the colours of me. And yet, for the longest time, I surrounded myself with bright and bold…because the rest of the world did. I hadn’t learned to know myself yet.

I often think back to (and I’ve mentioned this story on here before) the discomfort I used to feel when driving to work with my Dad, listening to the two negative, grumpy radio hosts on the morning show. Every time I heard them speak, I wanted to run. I had no idea why I was feeling this way, at the time, but now I know. It was the density of their energy. The texture. It was not at all light, it was heavy and bold: never have I thrived when surrounded by this kind of dense energy. Never have I been comfortable in my own, unique (big ol’ sensitive muffin) skin.

I can’t avoid density, I know that. Life is full of the dark, the negative, the heavy. But I can try to be mindful of surrounding myself as much as possible with the softness that brings me back to life, so that’s what I try my best to do.

Humans are funny creatures. How our worlds shift and change with time and age.

And though reality often hurts, it is also very beautiful.

Life is for living, isn’t it.

And so it is: I live.

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Categories
Poetry

Only And Always

The wind cannot be caught.

It cannot be moulded to perfection,

scraped and gutted

and made to be something other than

what it is.

The wind is only, and always, the wind.

And you

are only

and always

you.

Flow as you will.

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Categories
Poetry

As She Will

The sun is one

but never can shine

as one.

Her rays will splay,

and always touch the world

(in slices)

as they do.

How they splay

is a question for each new moment.

Who they will touch,

and in what way:

undiscovered.

The sun will shine as she will.

The sun will always shine

as she will.

Categories
Poetry

This Quiet Storm

I am me.

Just me.

Not who you think I am.

Not who you wish I would be.

Just who I am.

This quiet storm.

Me.

Categories
Poetry

Today

I have found myself, today.

Once again I am everything I am.

I am the passionate stroke of theatre,

and the softest touch of poetry.

My colours are pastel:

peach and mauve,

whimsical tendrils

and earthy wooden grain.

I am woman,

and I am the ocean.

I am life

and I am love.

This day.

Authentically beautiful.

I shall sip on it and call it home.

Categories
Poetry

Isn’t It Funny

Isn’t it funny

that for a moment

you forgot how wonderful you are.

Sweet, dancing sunshine.

Isn’t it funny.

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Categories
Poetry

A Quiet Day

Today my heart is quiet.

And it knows deeply

that it has lived.

Categories
Inspiration

Be You

Shine, my sweet bloggy family.

Always be you.

In all your flawed magnificence.

open.spotify.com/track/1haQRuZnoggW6U6l5jFIj9

Categories
Life

Truth and Lollypops

I’m not the victim of circumstance. Of uncontrollable life. Of this eternal river that constantly flows and changes, sometimes lifting me right out of the water, sometimes flowing me steadily along. That’s what I try to tell myself, anyway. That I don’t believe I am a victim.

I try to tell myself that I am better than to play the role of victim in this life, but the truth is…I do sometimes fall into the belief that I am the innocent victim of others’ selfish storylines. This, of course, coming from the perspective of my own selfish storyline. You see the insanity of this, don’t you? It’s one of those funny things. A blind spot.

Many people can’t see past this particular blind spot in their day to day interactions with the world. I understand that. Even those who do have awareness of the me zone are still often hijacked by the small frightened human inside. I’m sure even the most Zen of buddhas has a cranky pants child in there somewhere, still a little bit shitty that Mum didn’t give them the lollypop they truly deserved. (They really did deserve that lollypop, you guys. We all deserved that lollypop. (*Wink face emoji*)

As humans, we can’t escape the glaringly obvious, can we? We are all biologically wired to be animals (and small children) on some level.  I find this part of life so hard to make peace with, because there is a higher part of me who laughs at the little girl I’ll always be deep down. That little girl finds it SO liberating to be ever so passionately cranky at those who (she perceives) have hurt her. To really let out a great big you’ve done this to me! is one of the most freeing experiences there is. It also has the potential to wound others, and I will never subscribe to team an eye for an eye. Not ever.

The truth is, there can’t be an actual right way to be. We’re all programmed differently, and many of these differences are passed down to us from DNA born in a body, place, and time long ago. What if people are me-centric because they need to be in order to learn greater life lessons? What if there is a greater reason for all the chaos and nonsense we tend to judge as bad? I tend to think there is.

The other day, my inner lollypop girl wrote a poem, so frustrated by the victim mentality that seems to get in the way of life really shining for many of us. I’ve deleted it. It’s not my truth. My actual truth is love and compassion, it always has been, from very early on in my life, at least. And though my early life conditioning created many a limiting belief — that I’m slowly, but steadily freeing myself from—unconditional love is one belief I know I want to keep.

I do believe that I, and others, fall prey to the victim mentality from time to time as a result of being…oh, you know, human (omg, life, right?) But I’d like to continue to look at all aspects of myself and others from a place of compassion if I can help it.

With all that said, it’s liberating (and psychologically necessary, I feel) to release the roar that truly does live within, however irrational or me-centric its origins were. Creativity is such a beautiful way to do this (my goodness. Those crack the mega shits poems feel so good as they tumble out of my body.)

They’re just not the message I want to share with the world.

This is the message I want to share.

Peace.

(Ps. Lollypop, anyone? 😛 )

nature sky bird animals
Photo by Adrianna Calvo on Pexels.com

 

 

 

Categories
Life

We are One

open.spotify.com/track/6EPyl8kU0dPIgoLCIuh25F

It’s important to me at this time (and, in fact, forever and always) to shine a hope for peace and equality for all.

We are one.

And though this song sings an Australian story, I sing it to the world. Because I am me, I am not on any one side; to me there are no two sides.

Just one.

Humanity.

Today, we speak for our beautiful black lives: who matter now, and always have mattered. Tomorrow, perhaps we might speak for each and every life touched by the closed eyes (and heart) of intolerance.

For the less obvious among society who have been oppressed and eye rolled entire lifetimes long, often suffering in silence:

* the sensitives and empaths of the world.

* the quirky/odd ones.

* the wildlings.

* the nerds.

Mainstream society is very good at identifying the obvious marginalised groups and fighting for their inclusion and acceptance.

It’s time, though, to dig deeper by asking:

Who am I intolerant of?

And why?

Are they not human, also? Like me?

We are all worthy of being seen through neutral eyes, and we are all worthy of forgiveness and being held through our darkest days.

Embracing our individuality, and separating from the rigid judgements and expectations of mainstream culture, ironically, seems to be the way to remember we are one.

Being kind to ourselves, and our fellow humans as we work through our kinks, might also be a lovely thing.

So much love, my beautiful bloggy friends.

I’ll stop with my little bursts of unsolicited opinion, now, because I trust that everything in life happens for a reason. I trust that everyone finds the exact experiences they need in order to shine exactly the way they were always meant to.

Why, then, did I post this particular contradictory blog post?

Only the wind knows that, I suppose.

xx Your girl always, Brooke. xx