If sleep could touch my cheek,
I would ask for her slender hand
a thousand times.
If sleep did fall upon me now,
I dare not wake.
No.
I dare…not…
Tag: Sleep
Categories
When I Sleep
When I sleep,
am I asleep?
Or am I sleep itself?
Or both?
Or none?
Categories
Sail With Me
And surely as the river
of the sky soothes me,
every star of this night
will sail with me
home.
It’s 4:11am.
The waves of a broken life roll through me like an unwelcome surprise upon a drying shore.
I think about hot chocolate and the sound of the ocean, because they soothe me.
Thank goodness for hot chocolate and the ocean.
Perhaps I might open up and let them flow a little deeper into me.
Perhaps, then, I might sleep again.
It has been a day and a half.
I am so in love with my beautiful children.
So in love with my family and the friends that fill my soul with everything it needs.
I’m in love with the gentle possibilities of tomorrow and the ‘don’t you dare mess with this girl,’ of today.
And, generally, I am in love with this messy, ugly, frightening, wonderful world in which we live.
No matter what anyone says: this world and this life is good.
Tomorrow I meet another weekend.
It will see me catch up with a beautiful friend for a walk among the trees, and it will probably see a gluten-laden lunch (that will make my body ache until monday) thrown in there also.
I’m so sleepy, you guys.
My eyes are droopy and my jaw is loose.
And soon…my everything else will enter the land of the nod so that I might become a brand new person for the tomorrow that lay ahead of me.
Goodnight, my dear bloggy friends.
Thank you so much for reading my words and for letting me be me.
All the love hearts,
Brooke xx
Categories
Healing Through Dreams
The universe is such a clever muffin. I really shouldn’t downplay its genius by using words that soften my stance such as ‘clever’ and ‘muffin’, should I? I should be using solid words. Power words. Words like: ‘The universe is such a brute force,’ or something like that anyway.
It’s 2:21 am. You may need to forgive me a clunky sentence or two, but I’ve just been woken by the internal ramblings of a girl in crisis (cough: me) and that seems to be the perfect entry point for me to begin my blogging journey once again.
I say I’m in crisis because it really does feel to me like my life is a little like a china shop that’s been trampled by a team of angry bulls, but don’t let that worry you too much. Broken china scattered all about the place is about a million times more beautiful in my eyes, and so it is that the girl half-full enters the china shop to put you all at ease. I am not entirely okay. But I will be more than okay one day in the not too distant future. So there is that lovely thing to think about, isn’t there.
Having my china scattered all about the place has allowed me to see it in parts, and my goodness—what a shock it has been to find some of these parts. What a shock it has been to have realised that this entire time…I have had a choice. A choice to look out for my own needs above others. A choice to avoid overthinking and worrying. A choice to be okay with not being okay. A choice to say, ‘actually, I’m not okay with that. Perhaps we might consider doing it my way, instead.’
This post has been triggered by a dream. I’m well aware that there are many people out there who believe that dreams are just random, but my dreams have transformed my life in too many ways now for me to dismiss them as nonsense. Yes, some do seem to be random. But others, such as the one I’ve just woken from, are, without any doubt in my mind, meant to be seen, felt and healed.
Looking back over the years at some of the more traumatic dreams I’ve woken from, I can see exactly the lessons I should have received from them, had I actually paid attention and respected the power of the human psyche for what it is. Miraculous intelligence. We are fascinating creatures, guys. I mean, really, we are. We’re so brilliantly complex and amazing—isn’t it time we started to respect the power we all hold within ourselves?
The universe is a brute force. It will not stop until its messages have been received and processed, and so it is that I sit upon my bed in the early hours writing these words for you all to read. Now. Time to sleep. My goodness, I’ll be a little bit sleepy tomorrow then, won’t I?
Categories
In The Black Of Night
I’m sitting by the fire in the black of the night.
The sun shines on the other side of the world and yet here my mind is, alive without it, wondering when sleep will call for me again. My nose is cold. I’m wondering how I might fix that, too.
When the night wakes me, I lay in bed for the longest time, quite clear about the world inside of me. It’s a mystery, isn’t it, that the answers we seek in the light of the day seem somehow more visible in the dark (the actual dark).
Perhaps this awake time is good for me. A gift of energetic privacy: a land of alone, where there is no one but me to answer to, no societal rules to burden me, no expectations to snuggle in with them.
All there is in the dark of night is me, and the fire, and the moon.
I am soothed by the quiet of that.
Categories
Cupcake
Don’t tell the biscuits,
but it’s a sleepy tea
and a cupcake
kinda night.
Sometimes, the night wakes me.
When the night wakes me I lie in bed and march through life in my mind, smiling at all the lovely things, frowning at all the things I wish the day had kept to itself.
I don’t know why the night chooses me as its ‘sometimes companion’. Perhaps it knows that I will always give it a chance to speak its mind.
Perhaps it thinks that I might like to speak my mind with it.
Which I would, of course;
If only the night called itself ‘the day’ and wore the sun bright and warm in its sky.
Then I’d be happy to share my life with it.
Then I’d be happy for the night to wake me.
Categories
Couch Chat
On the seventh day of Christmas
the sun came
and then it went.
In between the coming and going of the sun
lots of love happened.
Lots of smiles.
A couple of sad thoughts.
Hardly any cranky ones— hells yes. (Don’t ya love those days?)
So…yeah.
Life happened and it was really pretty great.
The thing is—
I’m so super snoozy. (Sleepy sigh smile.)
So super snoozy I can’t think of anything overly brilliant to write.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow I’ll write something AMAZING. (She says, grinning at the cheek she hopes she’ll be forgiven for)
Night night, gang.
You guys are awesome.
Thanks for popping by for a bit of a couch chat.
xx Brooke (Couch chat legend from way back.)
brooke-cutler.com 