Categories
Poetry

To Live

The wind will call and you will know.

And it won’t tell you why,

and it won’t tell you what

but you will follow

blindly,

hopefully,

until the sun peaks ’round the bend

and the horizon dazzles

in ways far beyond possible.

Indigo, apricot nights.

Warm breath on starlit cheeks.

And you will know

(oh, you will know)

what it was like

to have lived.

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Categories
Poetry

Searching

How deep is the sea that clutches

and drags me to the muddy floor, within?

How many days will I tumble

into the swell of inner life

unspoken, unwanted, unkind?

Shall I stand here, now,

battered and smiling, beside this beautiful life?

Still searching.

Still searching.

Always searching, but for the fleeting days

of clarity,

of home neat and tidy.

The creative knife;

sharp, yet desperately beautiful in shine.

Still searching.

Always, still searching.

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Categories
Poetry

Twinkling Silence

Hush.

Here in the silence

that lingers between each star.

Close your eyes,

let the sweet velvet black

hold you.

And you will know

(you will know)

that this is all you need.

The twinkling silence that is you.

This is all you need.

Categories
Life

All I Am

How lovely it is

to find home again.

In this home

I am what I am,

and what I am

is a river,

a rock,

a lion,

a ballerina.

What I am

is all I am.

All I am

is all there ever was.

All I am

is all

I am.

Categories
Poetry

Found

There is no feeling

quite like the delicious wholeness

of a lost girl

found once more.

There is no feeling quite like this.

Categories
Poetry

Until The Garden Grows

Your truth is true

because you believe it.

And you must believe it

until you no longer do.

There is no quick way to birth a rose.

A rose must slowly

awaken

to beautiful

wide-open

life.

Wide-open-life.

It is a place that exists only

in the sky of us.

A neutral place,

where all are loved,

and all love

unconditionally.

Believe what you will.

Choose a side

if you will.

It is true for now.

It is true, only for now.

Until the rose opens.

Until the garden grows.

Categories
Poetry

All That I Am

I am all that I am,

and wherever I drift

on the wind of today

is as it should be,

is all that I am.

As it should be

is all that I am.

Categories
Poetry

Every Drop

You think you are one thing.

You are not one thing.

You are the entire ocean.

Take your time,

be every drop.

Categories
Life

Grateful.Tired.

Life is busy and overwhelming at the moment. I’m better for the tools I’ve found to bring me back to softness (walking, gratefulness, meditation) but it’s a mammoth slog I’ve been through.

And a mammoth slog that lay ahead.

My husband and I are merging two houses into one. House work must be done. Small children must be both survived and parented beautifully, given the monstrously high standards I set for myself.

And I need to write, or create (more than I have been) or I might die. No one is dramatic here. No one at all.

I’ve never been through a period of life that has been so truly exhausting, from all angles, for so long. A million different balls hover in the air around me and I do not know which one to reach for in order to catch it and bring it down.

Not only that, but my spirit is quite literally breaking free from my body, shouting (well, more buzzing and glowing, really) to be let out, to be set free. From something. From everything. The energy that moves through my body so often brings such beauty to my life, but I can also hear it asking to be apart of something more. I wish I had the time, clarity, and grit to give it what it is asking of me.

I’m grateful.

I’m tired.

And it’s tough. And it’s oddly beautiful.

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Categories
Poetry

Asking Questions

It is not the darkness

of others

I fear.

It is my own

crimson need

to mould the world

into a shape

that cannot possibly exist,

or remain.

Perfection is rigid,

solid,

stiff.

Life

is the ever flowing river

of everything,

everyone,

every way.

Broken?

Unbroken?

Right?

Wrong?

There is nothing

but life asking questions.

And answering them

as it will.