There you are
behind a soft, uncertain smile,
surprised that you are loved.
You are loved.
It is your expectation
that has made it seem not so.
You see the world and ask it to hold you
as you wish to be held,
and yet this is not the way life works.
Life will hold you as it holds you
so that you may learn
and grow
and be.
Love is born in the quiet room
between expectation and reality.
Hold yourself in your quiet
and you will finally say:
I am loved.
I am loved.
Isn’t it funny
that for a moment
you forgot how wonderful you are.
Sweet, dancing sunshine.
Isn’t it funny.
I walk the streets listening to music that makes me cry.
I suppose I will do this until I have made peace with my past and become all that I am in this moment forever onwards, but for now, this is me: and me feels achingly beautiful. Like snow.
To walk the streets in this way, releasing newly risen anger and pain, is the gasp for breath I’ve needed to take for so long. Was I holding my breath, all those years? What did I do with anger and sadness before I learned to tie them in a ribbon of apricot sun?
I am no different to the one who reads this. Each of us travel through childhood gathering scars we will carry for the rest of our lives, or at least until we face them. I am facing mine, now.
I am feeling the anger and the pain.
I am also feeling a greater love than I’ve ever known.
For the sweet little girl I was, and still am in many ways.
For the beautiful people who loved me. How they nurtured my softness, how they pained to see it tarnished by the hardness of the world.
This is the gentle home of me.
Please, come in, just the way you are.
Today my heart is quiet.
And it knows deeply
that it has lived.
For the ones who think they are broken.
You are beautiful.
Just the way you are.
I am a star
bursting to life.
There are no walls
in the sky.
I am free.
I choose a day of wonder
of shine
of love.
I choose a day beyond the never ending
notion
that I belong at the heals of another.
I choose myself, now.
I choose the people who care for my heart
like it is their very own sun.
See beyond the bend of your path
and you will find the rainbow of me.
See no further than the ties that bind you
and you will remain in the dimly lit room
of your lonely soul.
Dear heart,
thank you.
For singing to me
the beauty of my soul.
And having me believe
every sweet sound of it.
What do you want me to be?
I can be that, for a moment, a day
a lifetime;
I can be your sun.
Shining in all the places that make
you
feel more,
and me
feel less
than the blazing fire
that I am.
Be still, human darlings.
Never was there a day the wind stood still.
This, too, shall travel like the breath of the earth.
And though this wind will bring down branches,
and bend limbs into unrecognisable poses:
life remains.
So live.
Be still, human darlings.
Watch the wind pass in peace.
